Self Confidence and Anxiety Can’t Get Along

You probably know someone who is the picture of self confidence, while fear and anxiety shadows you constantly? You can’t help but wonder what their secret is and secretly wish for more confidence yourself.

Make no mistake, I don’t believe that having more courage is the answer to all anxiety problems. However, because self confidence and anxiety are on different ends of the spectrum — we can often teach our brains new tricks by overcoming fears.

Use these 7 simple self confidence tips to improve your overall quality of life and there’s a good chance you will reduce your anxiety levels.

How to Increase Self Confidence and Reduce Anxiety

1. Dress With Courage

This could sound like the dumbest way to relieve anxiety you heard to date? But the fact is:

The way you dress and your overall appearance is a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself.

Dress for success and you feel good about yourself — and others will sense your self confidence and reflect good vibes back to you.  

Please note, that I’m not talking about dressing like an idiot with fluorescent hair and piercings all over your body? When you dress in an attitude of rebellion, those are the signals you send, and those become triggers for your anxiety.

Take a real interest in your appearance and you will naturally feel better about yourself, and so will other people, friends and strangers alike.

2. Look People In The Eye

Develop the habit of looking people in the eye, and smiling.

If you are lax in this now, you will see an immediate difference in the way people respond to you when you look them in the eye while having a conversation.

This improves your self confidence, and reduces your anxiety at the same time. Learning how to relax when you’re with people who aren’t part of your inner circle is key to reducing anxiety levels.

3. Compliment People

Learn how to genuinely give compliments, and you will learn what the phrase “it’s better to give than to receive means” in its purest form.

When you compliment someone else, both your subconscious, and others get the message that you feel comfortable and confident.

It’s not a cliche and I’m not speaking of Karma; but, once you understand that you get back exactly what you give out, your entire life will change.

You get back the words and attitude you put out simply because you hear these and are the recipient before anyone else. Your mind has no method to know if you are complimenting other people or your self?

Think on that and you will start looking for ways to help others in a variety of ways.

4. Stop the Perfection

It’s difficult for us to let go of the need to be perfect.  

We don’t want anyone to see or know that we make mistakes.  This idea that people need to see you as perfect has no real use in life other than keeping your anxiety at high levels.

I can’t tell you how much courage and self confidence it takes for me to allow you to think I’m not perfect. But, the truth is — you already know it.

Here it is: Anxiety comes from your subconscious fearing that you are in or about to be in a dangerous or uncomfortable situation.

You can train your own mind that it’s not uncomfortable for you or others to know you are not perfect.

Believe it or not, your self confidence will soar when you let go of the need to convince others you are perfect. It’s simple, really:

You already know you aren’t and can’t attain perfection. When you stop trying to convince other people, you can relax and enjoy life.

5. Let Go of Your Ego

As humans we form an ego. Ego is our self made view of who we are, who we should be, and how others should view us.

Your ego puts you in a position of defending yourself to both yourself and others.

Learn how to give up your ego, and be the person you would be if you weren’t defending and impressing.  Be the same person with other people that you are when you are alone.

By doing this everyone around you will see your competence, honesty, and willingness.

The interesting part of learning to quieten your ego, and be your real self, is that people can and will now strive to build your confidence levels for you.

6. Embrace What You Love to Do

When you identify what you truly love in live — embrace it to the fullest.

Spending your time and live involved in what you love will give you a definite sense of being in control of your life.

Because anxiety always has to do with a sense of being out of control, embracing what you love in life can help relieve anxious feelings.

Make time for what you truly love and you will find yourself content, happy, and excited about yourself, and your life.

7. Chill Out at Work

There is no better confidence builder than giving your all to what you do at work. Do not seek to be a person of means, seek first to be a person of value.

Instead of seeking to be a person of means, devote your life to being a person of value.

The best way to excel in your career is to give, give, give. When you feel you’re being used, give more.

If you have been dealing with low self esteem, try to get out of your own ego by doing more for others with no expectations.

As you see yourself more and more as a giver, your self-confidence naturally grows. As your self worth grows, your anxiety will lessen because the two don’t get along together.


It’s surprising to learn of the little things we can do for ourselves to increase our own self worth and self confidence.

Anxiety can be a big issue so we assume it’s going to take big measures to manage, control, or stop it.

I’ve had to put each of the 7 tips above to work in my own life and I can assure you they make living a more pleasurable experience.

Give them a try for yourself, you may be surprise to learn how self confidence and anxiety don’t like to coexist.

Categories Anxiety

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